DON'T ‘TALK ABOUT IT’ BUT ‘DO IT’

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Why doesn't my manager align with my needs and desires? Why doesn't my colleague hear what I really want to say? Why does no one see that I find it challenging to speak up in meetings? How can I make sure that I get people on board with my ideas and thoughts?

These are just a few questions that, different as they may be, can be categorized under the label 'communication'. But also under 'influence' or 'connecting with others'.

No, this won't be another piece about conversation techniques and communication styles. Of course, it's valuable for people to gain insight into their own preferred style when it comes to communication and influence. And to be aware of the style of the other person, so they can adjust accordingly. If you're naturally very expressive and directive, and your conversation partner is more reflective and passive in communication, there's a good chance you'll miss each other and not connect. You probably already know that in such cases, it's best to moderate, give the other person space, and occasionally bite your tongue. But how?

Outsite your comfort zone

Nine out of ten times, not by reading books and studying theories. Nor by attending a conversation techniques training. Real learning primarily happens through 'doing'. By experiencing how it feels to step outside your comfort zone and experimenting with different styles based on the situation and the person in front of you. By becoming aware of underlying patterns and personal themes that might hinder you.

Insight and awareness

Negen van de tien keer niet door boeken te lezen en theorieën erop na te slaan. Evenmin door een training gesprekstechnieken te volgen. Het echte leren gebeurt voornamelijk door te ‘doen’. Door te ondervinden hoe het voelt om uit je comfort zone te stappen en te experimenteren met verschillende stijlen, al naar gelang de situatie en de persoon tegenover je. Door je bewust te worden van onderliggende patronen en persoonlijke thema’s die je kunnen belemmeren.

Deeper level

Combined with a conversation with a psychologist, in cases where personal themes and thinking and behavior patterns are deeply rooted, making development or change difficult. In these so-called 'power sessions', you quickly reach the deeper layers of your question and get the space to truly experiment.

Will and dare you take a step outside your comfort zone?
Give yourself the space to truly challenge yourself, to actually address important themes for you. After all, nothing grows in your comfort zone!

- Esther Ramaekers, Senior Advisor/Developmental Psychologist NIP